I'm my own monkey

I used to think that if I had a pet monkey I would never be sad. Given, of course, that the monkey didn't eat my cash and rub feces in unusual spots around the house. It would be surprising! It would be companionable! Sadly, there's no ethical way to keep a monkey as a pet. And even if there was I'd be afraid that the monkey would have disdain for me. Those judgemental monkeys! So, no monkey for me. But I want antics! So, I plan to make my brain amuse itself. With a crap memory everything i write should enchant me as I find each witticism created with the ideal combination of cynicism and perkiness. weeeeeeeeeeeee....here I go...........